As of last week, I am on the general pediatrics service doing an acting internship. As a senior medical student, I get to practice being an intern in preparation for residency in a few months. And with residency starting in less than 3 months, I need all the prep I can get. While on the service, I admit patients, I develop their treatment plans, I follow their daily progress, I discharge them home.
Acting internship. Where I act as an intern.
Nurse (to me, as I am checking in on a patient): Are you his intern for the day?
Me: No! I mean, yes!! Well, not really… (Sigh)
Nurse (unfazed): Do you think we should get labs and change his feeding regimen? If so, I need orders. What do you want to do?
Acting internship. Where I intern as an actor.
Patient (sat in bed full of Lego): And this is a brain. See? It’s ugly. It goes on top of the bad guy like this and that gives him superpowers. And then you can add more pieces and then he’s like a superbad bad guy.
Me: When I was your age, my Lego were a lot simpler. I always used mine to build the floor plan of my dream house
Me: Well, if Super Bad Guy has a headache and his brains fall out, you can always page me to come STAT for a beside Lego consult.
They say practice makes perfect. But without those precious seconds when suddenly we have escaped the confines of hospital walls and we can see the child past his or her illness, no amount of medical knowledge or physical exam skills will ever be truly meaningful.
Bring it on kids, I’m open for business.